An Interview With Gretchen

interview gretchen

So just days out from the launch of episode one, The Damsel Gauntlet, we’re bringing you an interview with the witch herself. As the star of the series, I’m sure you’re curious about Gretchen, and Mike Wallace, trusted first reader and writer of urban fantasy, asked her all the burning questions.

Hope you enjoy the insight, and are looking forward to launch day on May 5th!

When did you first start your career in witchcraft?

Us Murkwood’s are an old witchy family. My mother was a witch, her mother was a witch, my mother’s mother’s mother, well she was a goat herder. But I’m pretty sure that was only because her mother was a witch and a right battle-axe, too. So I suppose what I’m saying is I fell into witching rather than chose it.

Do witches date? What would a witch prefer in a husband? Or wife?

Well I mean, they do, but partners are probably more hassle than they’re worth. Can’t keep a husband in the academy if that’s your sorta thing, the council wouldn’t stand for it. But you know, it’s that age old quandary of caring for snot faced brats and whose work is more important. I guess the perfect partner would be one who could tolerate the smell of entrails in the morning. You never get a good reading out of them later in the day.

What kind of people are your best customers? Your worst?

The best are ones that don’t ask too many questions. I’ll let you surmise what that means for the worst.

What’s the difference between a witch and a wizard?

Is this guy serious? Wizards would have you believe that they work with a superior brand of magic, but in fact are almost useless at fixing things and are inclined to blow stuff up. You may as well ask what the difference is between men and women.

Is the cat your familiar? What does that mean?

Mulligan is my familiar, yes. Smarter creatures than most, they’re bound to their magical mate to look out for their wellbeing and let them know when danger is afoot. The trouble is deciphering those messages. Mulligan isn’t exactly the best communicator, and I’m not about to go hiding under my bed because he’s been acting weird. Cats are weird to begin with.

Have you ever faced a problem that magic couldn’t fix?

Pah, all the time. If I could solve all my problems with magic, I’d be sipping cocktails by the beach for the rest of my years. Seriously though, Magic is pretty much useless for cheating at cards.

Do you think magic provides a vital service to the people?

Unless you consider those quacks that call themselves physicians capable of curing anything more serious than a sniffle, yes. And that’s just healing. Imagine a world where you couldn’t order a hex on someone? That would be crazy.

What would you say is your most successful potion?

Depends how you define success. My best seller is cure-all for common respiratory afflictions. I’m pretty sure I could brew that in my sleep. But my most epic potion was that time I put together a little brew that covered our headmaster in purple spots. That thing went off almost exactly to plan. Do you know how hard it is to get the color purple right in a potion?

Why broomsticks?

No axles to snap, no wheels to get bogged in the mud, no nasty horse crap or broken equine legs to deal with. Don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer armchairs to broomsticks, but it’s part tradition and part having an enchantment strong enough to carry the weight.

Are there any stereotypes about witches you want to disprove?

You’re asking the wrong witch. Now Nora would get on her high horse, but I reckon a lot of those stereotypes have served us well over the years. I don’t even have to lock my front door when I go out. We might not be held in the highest esteem, but regular folks are at least a little wary of us. If it were any different, I’d have to go making excuses about why I couldn’t go to that stupid book club or why I missed the baby shower.

And there you have it!

Ten top questions from Mike, and as to be expected responses from Gretchen. Let me know in the comments if you have any more, and we can cover them over in future posts.

Have you picked up your copy of The Damsel Gauntlet yet?

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